Have you ever tried making small talk with a stranger?

It often feels like you’re on a hamster wheel going faster and faster. Your mind is rapidly attempting to formulate the next thing to say…. the next question to ask.

If you are a mom like me, you probably strive for some sort of adult conversation.  So, while standing in line at the grocery store you see a fellow mom juggling the food, a baby on her hip, the toddler circling her legs, AND the school age child asking for candy.  The small talk begins… “How cute!  How old are they?”  And then the dreaded question, “How many children do you have?” We are all guilty of asking. As a society, we can be nosey! Well, not necessarily nosey, but curious.  

However, now is the time to remove that last question from your memory.  

We may not realize that for many parents, a question like this could actually be a trigger of past trauma.  What if they have a critically sick child at home? What if they have lost a child? As a mom of children, both of whom are teenagers now, I have had many conversations that started out this way.  So, I have learned just how insensitive it is to ask certain questions. 

Let’s just get to the point. It’s hard to grieve in your own way when there are significant outside influences.

The truth is, people believe you should be grieving a certain way based on factors that are usually out of your control. And when life already feels impossible, it’s no easy feat to protect yourself from those beliefs.

We are here to tell you that you don’t need to fit your grief into a specific box or set of expectations. What’s most important is that you recognize the ways in which you grieve and give yourself the space to grieve in a healthy manner. This is also a gentle reminder to honor the unique way in which your partner grieves and create space for each of you to process individually.

Below are 3 key influences to be aware of as you work toward a healthy relationship with your grief:

Life is a beautiful journey, filled with ups and downs. It is all-encompassing with joy, laughter, and love, and there are inevitable losses that transform us, and leave us grappling with grief and emptiness.

The pain of losing a little one, in particular, can be very challenging to navigate, making it difficult to envision a brighter tomorrow. In the midst of sorrow, we are faced with a profound opportunity to create meaning out of loss and to transform our grief into a space of purpose and meaning.

Come along with us as we explore the process of meaning-making and how it can lead to healing and growth.

When someone you care about loses a child, you may be at a loss for words and have no idea what to do next.

That is understandable and there are ways you can support them and show that you are there. Not offering any support could be hurtful toward your loved one. It is essential to acknowledge their loss and provide support in any way you can.

Let them know that the RAISE Your Hearts family is there for them and check our helpful tips below:

Grieving the loss of a loved one is often a lonely place. The trajectory and timeline of your grief journey is individual and may not match the emotion, feelings and grief stages that fellow bereaved family members and friends experience along the way. Journaling in the aftermath of a loss has proven to be beneficial to the bereaved as they process their grief. Here’s how to get started:

How do you get through each day while grieving an insurmountable loss? These simple self-care tips can help:

Deep down you know that you are forever changed and nothing will “make it better”. You may hear phrases from loved ones that are meant to comfort you, but instead, you find them triggering and upsetting. And whether you are sleeping or awake, your mind is racing and your heart is broken. Based on experience, here’s what we can offer to you:

We want you to know of your options for securing some much needed time away from work. Our hope is that providing you with information and tools will support you in protecting your job, and receiving compensation, as you start your grief journey.

You came home with empty arms. I am so sorry this happened.

You’ve likely just lived the worst day of your life - holding death in its most innocent form as your arms physically ache for your living, breathing, crying baby. This ache comes from deep within - your body knows they’re missing - and while it may not feel like it now, it will learn to carry this ache as armor through the ebbs and flows of this grief journey. This armor that is actually love without bounds….

Challenge yourself to prioritize time with nature.

Schedule time to get outside each day. You’ll find that when you team up

with the outdoors, you are intentionally impacting your days, weeks, and months

in a positive and meaningful manner.

The aim of this resource is to honor your child, open supportive dialogue, and prepare anyone entering your room for carefully understanding your family history.