Our Story
Rory’s Story
For Jason and I, RAISE Your Hearts holds a special place in our healing hearts. I had a healthy pregnancy and one wonderfully active baby who had hiccups at least once per day, gave me quite the sweet tooth, and had almost everyone fooled that she was a boy. Actually, waiting to find out if she would be a boy or girl was one of the most exciting parts of our adventure. Not to mention that Jason held the most adoring face when he looked at, touched, or spoke to my growing tummy in anticipation of meeting our munchkin.
We were so excited when our daughter, Rory Cheyenne, decided to grace us with her presence on Christmas Eve of 2017! Unfortunately, due to complications, we found our temporary home in the NICU and after repeatedly showing her admirable strength and ability to rally, our baby girl took her last breath as we held her for the first and last time in her short six-day stay on this earth. Our hearts and lives were shattered, our lives are forever split into “before” and “after” our daughter died, and grief has become our resting place for our never-ending love of our firstborn. We are forever changed by her 276 days of existence and her place in our family by making us parents.
While we wait for the day we can hold our baby girl in our arms again, we hold on to our love for each other and for her younger siblings whom we have the blessing to nurture and journey through life with. We also know that we would not have the desire to get out of bed each morning if it weren’t for our furbabies, family, friends, healthcare providers, and the childloss community that have stuck by our side as we journey through this unbearable grief. Now it’s our turn to be there for other childloss families. In this “after” life we’ve learned that there is no pain comparable to having a child that has run off ahead in an out-of-order death.
No matter the age or gestation, every family member grieves and every child that is not physically present deserves to be acknowledged and remembered. We imagine if you have found us, you have joined this club that no one wants to be a part of and we want to say that while there are no words for your loss, we are here for you and we raise our hearts to your child. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, sibling, cousin, or an ally, we welcome to the RAISE Your Hearts family. We hope that in this “after” life, you are able to honor your child by honoring yourself and your unique relationship. Focusing on positive connections with your heart, mind, soul, and strength will allow you to create a meaningful and impactful relationship with wellness in grief.
Most often, just getting to the next moment takes courage but as Etty Hillesum once said, “Sometimes, the most important thing in a day is the rest between two breaths.” Know that while facing life after the death of a child can feel isolating, you have the support of the RAISE Your Hearts family to help you Ignite the Light, Together. Know that the duality of emotions in grief allows you to love and feel more deeply so as the darkness of each night sets in, we wish you rest and the chance to take deep breaths so you can recharge and face the morning light once more.
With Love and Light,
Alexi, Rory’s mama
Founder and Chair